Genre: YA sci-fi/fantasy
Word Count: 92,000 words
Fifteen-year-old Marnie Sayebrooke is one of the last known Momenta–with the unique ability to manipulate time and space. When an ancient book transports her to the magical realm of Anderli, she must use her newfound powers to save the land from Terrsarah, who has unnaturally re-created the Great Famine.
 First 250:
The bookstore bell dinged, but Marnie didn’t hear it. She was too busy studying the tower of un-shelved books. A mottled cover at the very bottom stood out amid the store’s stained glass windows, narrow doorways, and low ceilings. Its gold interlace and Celtic designs mesmerized her.  She wanted the book more than anything—even more than getting away from her step-mom, which surprised her.
With a shaking hand, she grabbed the cracked spine. It tingled under her fingers. Wincing, she pulled the aged leather until the book popped into her hands, leaving the books above teetering precariously. Her fingertips grazed the gold-edged pages. She traced the cover’s etchings until she reached the title, Anderli, engraved in laced script, surrounded by a triangle of knots. The author’s name, “Feverish Poppenjay,” was written at the center.
Marnie barely glanced up before the other books collapsed over her, crashing and thundering to the floor.
She unearthed herself, dumbfounded, and found the clerk glaring at her through wire-rimmed glasses. Giving him a sheepish smile, she gripped Anderli under her arm, and handed him some bills from her jean pocket. As soon as she heard the ding from the cash register, she ran out as fast as she could.
15 replies
  1. SC Author
    SC Author says:

    Stopping by from the contest to say that I love the characterization in your 250 words! I love her excitement, and I also highly respect the fact that your inciting incident of finding the book (mentioned in your query) is in the beginning. Many times, the beginning starts too late, but yours doesnt. Nice job, and good luck!

  2. Laurie Muench
    Laurie Muench says:

    I love simple summaries that don't bog down with too much description and confusing plot tangents. Good job. I also love your title, it is mysterious and catchy.
    Good luck!
    #120 Laurie Muench

  3. Matthew MacNish
    Matthew MacNish says:

    Hi Writer Librarian, I'm visiting your blog from the Writer's Voice Contest (entry #58), and I wanted to wish you the best of luck! I'm also now your newest follower, so: nice to meet you!

  4. Jennie Bailey
    Jennie Bailey says:

    Oooooh, I wanted to be in that bookstore with her! I love old bookstores with stacks of books and you did such a great job painting that picture for me! Good luck!

  5. C.G.Ayling
    C.G.Ayling says:

    Please don't take this as a downer – which it is not intended to be – but your premise just isn’t up to the same standard as your first 250. I hope you get a team and a coach – heavens knows we all need them more than they need us! Good luck!


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